Dear Grief

Wow
You’re back again
Calling me, texting me like an old homey lover friend

Wrapping around me in the disguise of comfort
Telling me not to pick up the phone or paper or a pen

Suffocating every cry for help
Whispering in my ear that I don’t need anyone to dry my tears
Pretending to adore me when all the while you’re making love to my fears

When I cry you make me swallow the pain
Reminding me to put in another load of laundry
and that I forgot to eat once again

When I finally get from under the heavy weight of your hug
And have a moment when I don’t feel sadness coursing through my veins like a drug
Just when I feel so good that all I want to do is run free and embrace the love
Life happens

My clients need me to meet a deadline
My love would rather not spend the time
Homework needs an extra review
There’s so many dishes piling up that I need a clone or two
And I realize that I don’t have time for you

I sit down to take a deep breath
Trying to meditate or sleep or rest
And it doesn’t take long for you to slip back in
Climb me as if I wanted you to take me again
Wrap your cold hands around my hips and waist
And bring tears to my once smiling face

You tell me to turn off the phone
Cause you love me and want us to be all alone
And whatever plans I had today
Have to wait until you’ve had your way
With me..
Body, mind and soul

All the work I did to move you along your way
Over ten years now seems just like yesterday

And the only comfort that I have this go around is knowing
That God sent me angels this time to keep me going

And although I can’t keep you from inviting yourself in
You will not take control of my paper and pen
I can only pray that this time old friend
That our visit will be shortened

Because I refuse to give in
Completely…

(C) Mary Tonita Austin (a/k/a Toni Love)