“In Remembrance” – Happy Heavenly Birthday Queen B!

Beverly F. Thomas

Bev was my best friend. Although she lived on the opposite end of my block in West Philadelphia, where I was born and raised, our paths never crossed until I was in my late teens. I was the smart kid who got teased a lot and kept to myself. She got the nickname Queen B because she would walk around the neighborhood like she was royalty. She was always laughing and would strut down the street with her hands on her hips, and it seemed to me that she never let what anyone else thought about her, bother her.

I was the smart, quiet teenager with hardly any friends, and she was the loud, charismatic, funny popular one with lots of personality, and introduced me to the cool people on the block. When I was hanging with Bev, I felt popular and protected. She wouldn’t let anyone say anything bad about me and my Mom treated her like family. My brothers were DJs so there were always turntables set up in our basement, and Bev and I and whoever else came over from the block would put on our favorite albums and sing, drink beer and laugh. She wanted to be a star and she had such a beautiful light within her. We lost her at the age of 40 and I now carry her light within me. Each time I walk on a stage, I think of her and this is one of the poems I wrote in remembrance.  Happy heavenly birthday Bev!

I Remember You (basement duet for Queen B)
 
We sang into West Philly-bred microphones
Scents of stale beer and cigarettes floating under our basement borne concerts
Roberta Flack
Natalie Cole
Teena Marie
They were us we were we and we were free
Imagining concert halls filled with fans gasping for gardenia scented motions of us
We danced swaying under water pipes and wooden rafters
Dressed in summer swag, tossing braids and permed ponytails while we bumped hips and dipped knees
We were stars on the dust filled unfinished basement stage
It was all we knew
We were inseparable until you strayed
We went our separate ways
You succumbed to painful nights soaked in old men calling for you to dance again
Asking for alley romance and offering snow dust dreams and green smoke behind masks
You danced to stale music with no voice
Now you’re gone and with you our Webster street duet
Yet
I still hear you
We walk together in a parallel universe
Pushing my stroller under the suburban sunshine
I think of my sister pushing through the door at the crack of dawn
Both rising to meet our children
Both trying to define success in the way we could see
Yet
I still see you 
 
Walking alone waiting on the bus stop in clothes wrinkled in the scent of cigars and whiskey
As I secure the seat belt of my luxury car at the corner of my single home
We both sit cloaked in sadness
I walk with you though you don’t see my journey
Resting in the sorrow of acceptance that I could not save you from yours
I remember you
I see you
I carry you
I sing for you
I write for you
I swing my hips for you
I inhale smoke filled rooms and sip beer through a straw for you
I plant my feet and grab the mic in remembrance of you
You support me
I carry you
I love you
I remember you
I REMEMBER YOU
 
12/11/15  © M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love

Trusting the Process

Toni Love Spotlight Performance

#takecareofmetuesday
This photo by @zamanifeelingsphotography I call my “ok God, what’s next?” stance.
It was taken on a night that was a pivotal moment for me because I was surrounded by people who believed in me and didn’t want anything from me but to see me shine. I let go of my plan for the evening and let them help me, and it was greater than I ever imagined. I was the spotlight performer and ended up bringing a 3 piece band of good friends and we shut the place down (check out a clip of the performance below)! ✨️

When the rug is pulled out from under you without a warning, you can either stay where you’ve fallen and wait for someone to pick you up, or you can take the time to meditate and envision the beautiful, safe replacement “rug” God has in store for you, get up and go get your blessing.
✨️Just for today Let time take time, say no to people who are constantly taking and not giving and do what brings YOU joy today.
✨️Trust the process, everything will come full circle
God I’m listening

#loveyourself ❤️

Catch Toni Love on Facebook Live ❤ August 6th, 7PM EST

Sewey Hole Family presents Bruiz and Friends , a Live poetry reading filmed at the infamous Pen and Pencil club in Philadelphia. The event including poetry readings from James Feichthaler, Bob Zell and myself, Toni Love will ONLY be viewed on the Facebook page of Keith Outlaw so visit the Event page to access the link to watch us live.

I hope you are able to check out the show. I will be reading a few new poems but please support and grab a copy of my poetry book or CD from my website and I’d be happy to autograph it for you.

Love always,

Toni ❤️

My ODE to George (Original Poetry)

From: Black History Mini Docs

My ODE to George. 

The first night of your trial I stood waiting for my son to return home. 

The cops showed up first after stopping him for running. 

My heart jumped outside of my chest as I struggled to prepare myself for the worst.

As he does every night,

he was running 

Running in his own neighborhood. 

Running at night because as a black boy He knows that black men who run in the daytime get chased and murdered. 

So he runs to feel freedom in the dark of the night. 

Stopped just minutes from his home by four police vehicles. 

That’s 4 x 2 officers approaching a 19 year old boy who wanted to run but by the grace of God stood still. 

Anxiety. Heart racing. Traumatized. Sweating. Sweating. Breathing.

Refusing the courtesy ride home in the back of the police car. 

He was innocent. 

No apologies for being accused of fitting the description of someone who was running and not doing anything but fitting the description of every black boy profiled. 

A black boy running at night. 

The cops told me that he wasn’t running when they stopped him. Thank God, I thought. 

Because black boys who run get murdered. 

So today I feel sad for you and all of the children we’ve lost to racism. 

Today I selfishly thank you.

Thank you George for your life because it may have saved the life of my son. 

A black boy who just wanted to breathe fresh air. 

A black boy who just wants to feel freedom. 

I pray for him. 

I honor You. 

You couldn’t breathe but he will breathe and run and stop and take breath and return home again today 

I pray . 

~ M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love 

written on the second anniversary of George Floyd’s murder. 5.25.22

Save the date! May 18th





Live Poetry Event: Tonita Austin, Sibelan Forrester, Alison Lubar
Wednesday May 18, 2022 – 7pm
Fergie’s Pub
1214 Sansom Street and on zoom – Registration Required

Come out and hang with me in the City!

I’m excited to share my poetry for the first time at a Moonstone Arts Center event with these gifted poets! There will be an open mic and loads of fun and poetry ❤️. I will also have copies of my book “Toni’s Room” for sale and if you already have a copy and want it signed, please bring it with you. They make wonderful Mother’s day gifts.

I hope to see you on the 18th!

https://moonstoneartscenter.org/event/live-poetry-event-tonita-austin-sibelan-forrester-alison-lubar/May 18th Reading

#love #TonisRoomBookLaunch #tonilove #artishealing

#poetryreading #livepoetry #loveyourself #art #poetrycommunity #supportlocalartists #poetsofinstagram #poetry #indieartist #supportthearts #originalpoetry #poetrybook #author #blackactivist #soloparent #blackwomenwriters #phillypoet #supportblackbusiness #supportblackartists #blackartist #indieartist #loveistheanswer

Reposting Ariel Gore: A letter on Motherhood, poetry and relationships. All power to Joy!

“In Recollections of My Life as a Woman, the poet Diane di Prima tells of a night at Allen Ginsberg’s place in New York. She’d gotten a friend to babysit her young daughter and headed over to Ginsberg’s apartment because Jack Kerouac and Philip Whalen were in town for “one of those nights with lots of important intense talk about writing you don’t remember later.”

Well, Diane had promised her babysitter that she’d be back at 11:30 that night, and 11:30 starts rolling around, so Diane bids her farewells. “Whereupon, Kerouac raised himself up on one elbow on the linoleum and announced in a stentorian voice: ‘DI PRIMA, UNLESS YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR BABYSITTER, YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO BE A WRITER.’”

How do you like that?

Kerouac just props himself up with one arm and drunkenly slaps us with the great fear we all share. He embodies the archetype of the selfish, self-destructive male artist, and he announces that unless we, too, are willing to be irresponsible to our relationships, we’ll never quite measure up.

“I considered this carefully, then and later,” Di Prima writes, “and allowed that at least part of me thought he was right. But nevertheless I got up and went home.”

Three cheers for di Prima!

“I’d given my word to my friend,” she explains, “and I would keep it. Maybe I was never going to be a writer, but I had to risk it. That was the risk that was hidden (like a Chinese puzzle) inside the other risk of: can I be a single mom and be a poet?”

A serious question, that one. Serious not only for moms but for all of us. Can we be present in our relationships and still do the work we feel called to do? It’s like my friend Lynn says: “A woman has to make a real effort not to dissolve into everything that needs her.” Our relationships need us, but we don’t want to dissolve. We refuse to dissolve, but we choose also to be responsible to our relationships. We’re tired of the drunk guy on the linoleum telling us we can’t do both. Women have always done both.

Looking back, di Prima recognizes what is true: Had she opted to stay that night, “there would be no poems. That is, the person who would have left a friend hanging who had done her a favor, also wouldn’t have stuck through thick and thin to the business of making poems. It is the same discipline throughout.”

The same discipline.

And discipline, like motherhood, is good for the soul. Poetry is good for the soul. Responsibility to all our dysfunctional relationships is good for the soul. The archetype of the selfish male artist tells us that we can’t manage all these things at once, that we can’t be simultaneously responsible to children, babysitters, self, and art, that we have to sacrifice, to abandon – but we know that’s a lie.

As I write this, Kerouac has been in his grave for nearly forty years. Diane di Prima is down in San Francisco, mother of five children, author of thirty-five books of poetry and several memoirs, powerhouse, and twenty-first-century radical.

We don’t need children to be happy, but motherhood has taught me this: to experience joy, we have to be able to honestly experience darkness, too. In responsibility to relationship, we build bodies of memory and life experience that we can be proud of. Motherhood has taught me that the opposite of happiness isn’t struggle. It isn’t even depression. The opposite of happiness is fear and obedience.

In Revolutionary Letters, di Prima writes, “Be strong. We have the right to make the universe we dream. No need to fear ‘science’ groveling apology for things as they are, ALL POWER TO JOY, which will remake the world.”

Three cheers for di Prima, for motherhood, for the courage to make the universe we dream.”

  • Ariel Gore, Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness

My Birthday gift to you!

Hey August is my birthday month and I am celebrating this special occasion with you!

If you or one of your friends and family purchase a copy of my poetry book Toni’s Room during the month of August, you will receive a free copy of my limited edition poetry CD titled “The Restoration”. FREE.

So if you have a poetry fan in your life and you were thinking of gifting them this book, now is the time to grab it! Visit my website , choose the shipping option for Toni’s Room and you’ll automatically get a free CD in the package. Just let me know who to autograph it to if it’s not you. Thank you for all your love and support. I hope you are staying safe and well during this time and remember poetry is a great way to keep your mind occupied!

“The Restoration”

Love always,

Toni ❤

March 7th Toni’s Room is coming to BusBoys and Poets Washington D.C. !

The show has been rescheduled to March 7th! Tickets from January’s show will be honored ❣

bit.ly/tonilovemerch

After successful book launches in Philadelphia and New York, Toni Love is bringing her new poetry book Toni’s Room alive in Washington D.C. at the famed BusBoys and Poets on 14th and V Street, Northwest Washington D.C.
Toni will take you on a journey inside her book, sharing the emotion and inspiration behind her poems accompanied by accomplished percussionist Ronin Ali. Tickets to this intimate event include light fare and VIP packages are available. PRICES INCREASE at the door, so get your tickets today. Show is 5-7pm.
You will leave feeling inspired, entertained and loved! 💜

Master percussionist Ronin Ali

A look inside Toni’s Room – Harlem Event Photos

We’re shipping out more orders of autographed copies of “Toni’s Room” today! Thank you for your support!

I have to thank you once again for the love and support I was shown in New York City 2 weeks ago. I am still floating on that cloud and really received a wonderful response to sharing a look inside of my poetry book Toni’s Room. Everyone who attended said how inspired they were. There were tears and laughter and they loved being able to see the poetry come to life during my reading. Thanks again to the amazing Karen Smith, percussionist extraordinaire who accompanied me on my visit to Harlem. We had a great time and it was a fabulous homecoming for both. A donation was made to the Lung Cancer Foundation of America in memory of my mother Ethel Connor who transitioned from the disease. All purchases through the end of this month will contribute to another donation. 💙

Photo credit : Patrick Mcmullan

I hope you will consider purchasing a book as a gift and there are still a limited number of CDs left to add to your purchase.

A few have already purchased books as holiday gifts.
Order a copy for the poet or aspiring writer in your life. My youngest fan is 8 years old, my oldest is 72! 💓

There are two options: Direct purchase from
Amazon
or order from my website with shipping if you would like an autographed copy.

Wishing you love!💓

Toni

#loveistheanswer

Poetry for Breast Cancer Awareness

#breastcancerawareness

A reminder that during the month of October, $2 from every Amazon order of my poetry book “Toni’s Room” will be donated to Praise Is The Cure, a local breast cancer support organization founded by a mom and accountant who is a breast cancer survivor and a true warrior for her family. 💓

Order your copy before November 1st. I will post the sales report from Amazon and you get to deduct the amount from your taxes. 😁

#winwin

Amazon.com/author/tonilove

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