A Poetic Journey to Restoration
Give the gift of LOVE this holiday season! Order a special edition Toni Love CD and/or T-shirt by accessing the link below. The CD is available now for only $10 and shipping is FREE! You will not be disappointed and your heart will thank me!
Please visit my artist page on Toni Love Facebook Page or Toni Love on Reverbnation to see me live and in action. I thank you in advance for the love!
#supportthearts #loveistheanswer
Click Here —> Order Online. Free Shipping!
First I want to sincerely thank my new followers! I hope you enjoy what you see and hear and please return often and feel free to share to your friends!
I will be reading and performing poetry TONIGHT, Monday October 5th at the Venice Island Performing arts center at 7 Lock Street in Manayunk, PA. I open the evening at 7 and the open mic begins shortly after. It’s a beautiful new theater and a new Poetry event sponsored by the Dead Bards Poetry Society. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone and will have copies of “The Restoration” for sale.
I also wanted you to know that you can find Toni Love on Reverbnation! Check frequently for new videos, poetry and updates on upcoming performances by clicking the link below.
Toni Love Reverbnation Page
Come out tonight and get some love!
~ Toni Love #loveistheanswer
Thanks for visiting! Love, Toni
My baby has finally arrived! I’m so excited to announce that my first ever poetry CD/EP is available for purchase. There are six tracks and one bonus track of my original poetry and original music produced by Robb McCall of RPX Productions. I am currently working on getting the tracks formatted and uploaded to CD Baby so that the EP can be purchased digitally but until then you can email me at: tonitalove2@gmail.com and I will send you a PayPal invoice for $15 which covers the total amount of the CD and postage. I have a limited number of these special edition copies and I will personally autograph it for anyone who orders a physical copy. I am also happy to deliver the CD to you personally if you are in the Philadelphia area. Once again, I couldn’t have done it without the support of my GoFundMe.com contributors, family and friends. I’ve shared some of the comments I’ve received about “The Restoration” below:
Dope!
Loved it and the music enhanced the words. I would like to purchase a copy to share also!
Don’t ever stop doing what you’re doing!
You made me believe in love again!
I need three more copies!
Captivating!
Blown away in the most literal sense of the word!
I am thrilled at the responses but I think you should get your own copy and form your own opinion 🙂
I truly appreciate your support and thank you in advance for the LOVE!
~Toni Love #loveistheanswer
I am so honored to be chosen as the Featured Artist on Spotlight on Jazz and Poetry this month from August 16th until August 29th.Click on the link below to listen to a few of my poems so perfectly infused with Jazz. There is also an in-depth radio interview that you can access on the same website under “Spotlight Conversations”. —-> Spotlight Conversations
I truly appreciate the host Big Trigger for inviting me and making it a memorable experience.You’ll get the chance to hear some tracks from my new EP as well as some poems that I have never performed. Please check it out and let me know what you think!
via Toni Love “Love Restored” – Spotlight on Jazz and Poetry.
Welcome Home
written in Bridgehampton, NY 6.27.15
Gray birds whisper through the trees
Ancestors swaying the leaves
Calling my name in threes
Tonita
Toni
Niiii-taaa
We are HERE
WE are here
We ARE here
and so should you be
here
present
listening
walking
breathing
feeling
touching
writing
connecting with us
We have wisdom to speak into you
Those chirps are a call to action
The leaves of soft swaying trees beckon you to come near
Those are drums in the distance
We are the Lenape, the Massai and Blackfoot
The soil moist beneath your feet is comfort for your journey
We are you
You are we
We are here
When you are here the sun beams and the clouds part because of your presence
This feels like home because you are home
Yemaya we call you
Oshun misses you
There is peace here
Come
Sit
Hear
Embrace
Inhale
Exhale
It is safe here
This is no coincidence
We have called you and you listened
Never forget us
Stay open
We need you to tell our stories
If you take the time to listen
We will always welcome you home
Although you may leave
We do not
We are here
(c) M Tonita Austin aka Toni Love
Thanks for visiting! Love, Toni
The Day I Left God
I laid the red carnation on top of her casket
Collapsing through showers of grief
The sight of them lowering the flesh and bones of my mother
Into the cold hard ground was too much for my fragile womb to bear
I had prophesied years before
That her life would end when her decayed lungs could take no more
Tobacco
Stress
Worry
Fear
Yet I still was not prepared
God was not supposed to take my mommy so soon
I did all the right things
I was baptized and attended church
I paid my tithes
Helped the elderly, sick and poor
Volunteered and served my community
I got good grades, graduated from college, supported myself
And although I wasn’t perfect I tried to do every righteous thing I could do
Stayed by her side like a good daughter should
Took her to doctor’s appointments
And brought her clothes and food when she was unable to move
I was so good how could he take my mommy so soon?
Every day I walked into the cancer center I stopped in the chapel to pray
Please wait until my baby is born before you take my mommy away
Every day
On my knees I would pray
Please God
Please God
And he took her anyway
Standing over her casket tears flowing too fast to even wipe away
I sobbed again for her grand baby comfortably swaying in my womb
Anxious to see the light of day
Not realizing the would never get the chance to wrap his little
Hands around her face and say
I love you mom mom
Day by day the anger filled up every space left in my perforated heart
How dare my God leave me to do motherhood alone?
Without my mother to tell me how to hold him when to feed him
When to worry and when to let go
How cruel can he be to leave me mourning during the most beautiful time in my life?
Just two months before I would walk down the aisle and become someone’s loving wife
With each contraction my unborn child had no choice but to drink in my tears of pain grief and anger
My soul cried out why
And received no answer
I found myself sitting in silence once again
Praying to find the strength to go on
So I did what I felt God had done
I banished love and left my soul deserted
Back in the cemetery in the cold hard earth I left my faith in God and buried it deep
And I walked away
And I wept
The day I left God.
© M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love
I read this original poem “Grief Waits” at The Collective All Artist Open Mic a few weeks ago at Rose Petals Cafe and Lounge and a few people asked me to post it. This was written a few weeks after my father transitioned, not for sympathy but to support the little girl inside yearning to tell her story. Not sure I’m finished with it, but here it is:
Grief Waits
She cries
Into makeup stained pillows when no one is awake
This single mother of two wants her own daddy back
But no time to be sad with taxi runs to baseball ballet and piano lessons
No chance to cry with the babies watching and counting on her strength
Even peaceful meditation is interrupted by children’s nightmares soaked in sadness
She greets the morning sun holding back the tears
Adorning sunglasses so the suburban moms don’t ask her “what’s wrong?” as she skips her child to school
Gotta make sure her offspring are happy and
Gotta make sure they keep up their grades and
Gotta keep their schedules consistent so they won’t feel the pain
Gotta keep a smile at the job and
Gotta search for the desire to
pay the bills, do the laundry and cook them a healthy meal
Gotta shield them from the rain
But who is taking care of the little girl who just lost her daddy
Who makes sure she eats and keeps the heaviness of her heart from sinking into the pit of her stomach
Who holds back her fear of the journey through life as an orphan and raising strong kids alone while the village is slowly disappearing
No grandfathers, no grandmothers, no great grands, no mother no father
No father
Who holds her at the end of the night when the kids are counting sheep and she can’t find enough energy to weep
Who takes her by the hand and lifts her off her feet to give her burdens a chance to sleep
Who says its gonna be okay and wipes her tears away
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day
Maybe then she’ll feel like going out to play
But not today
Because she’s tossed and turned all night
Living a nightmare until the first ray of daylight
Then its time to dab away the pain and push away the tears
Because its 7:15 and the school bus will soon be here
And no one wants salty tears in their lunchbox
Yet she rises once again meeting the morning with a smile
As grief waits behind every closed door
God Bless the Child
(c) M Tonita Austin aka Toni Love 5/30/2013
Life ( for Elizabeth)
Your breath became my own
and you exhaled life’s elixir into my lungs
as I was yet being formed
Your dreams were etched into my DNA and each step you took created my legacy
You are life
No one can doubt a Mother’s love
It’s God’s favor manifested from above
Life’s shelter from our enemies
A Mother transforms herself often to be
Best friend and nurturer
Wife and reliable comforter
Steady and stern when necessary
With laughter sweet and colorful as ripe strawberries
You are Life
You will always be life
You will continue to love us
To help and encourage us
Your love transcends time and earth and breath
It is everlasting
It is omnipresent
Love is here
You are here
Your spirit remains here
With every breath we take
Because
You are life
(c) M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love 11/23/14
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