New year and I’m ready to release the pain
No more capturing old Polaroid type snapshots of hurt inside the tear- stained crevices in my heart.
The things you said, the regrets and the unspoken daggers thrown at all parts of my body have bruised me enough.
My heart has hardened and I’ve been trying every chemical, oil and homeopathic medicine that I could find
To massage in with fingers worn and paper-thin from
So much kneading
Because I keep needing the love to make its way in
Trying to force myself to love again
Daring them all  to penetrate the walls of plaque hardened around my heart
No longer will I leave my canals open and vulnerable with sun  drenched thighs
Yearning to be touched from within
Because this fight I will win.
I am worthy of a life free of fear
And I deserve to have someone I trust to pull me near
Whisper “I love you” sensual and sincerely in my ear
And not cringe from disbelief

Because it’s a new year
And I’m ready

So goodbye fear

(c) M. Tonita Austin 1/4/14