Fearless #original poetry
Fearless ~ #originalpoetry
Sometimes you have to forget that you’re somebody’s momma, someone else’s nurturer, someone else’s provider, boss, therapist, housecleaner, mentor, hero and role model and just be. Be free. Be in spaces and places no one would expect you to be. Hair and toes out, dancing /swaying/moving/ calling in joy, calling in Josephine Baker, Dorothy Dandridge and every ancestor who conspired to form your hips, lips and freedom.
Be seen, be joyfilled, be unapologetic, be around people eager to give without expectation of receiving. Just once my beloved sisters, be fearless. Be free.
Repeat often until it’s comfortable.
❤️M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love (c) 1.4.23
Kiss 💋 #original poetry
They are eager for your gentle touch
The anticipation of soft skin against skin
Oh how I love the sensation of your tongue
Gliding ever so slowly around my oval
Moving deeper inside
Teasing my anticipation
Increasing my drive
Feeling warmth and compassion each time our lips collide
I can’t take the multiple explosions anymore
So I moan some form of your name
Begging you to come up for air
To give these lips
1/2/16 Toni Love
#This is Us – This is Me
Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies…
Last nights episode of This is Us hit me to the core. I have been a fan of the show since it’s inception, not only because the writing is so beautifully woven but I was particularly impressed at how perfectly they captured the personality and stressors of being a gifted black male in a white world. Randall reminds me so much of my own son and although I am not a white woman, as a sole parent, I can relate to her character as as a mother mostly raising her children on her own.
This episode brought back the deep sadness that I felt as the caretaker for my own mother. The hospice nurse coming to let us know that she had 48 hours left with us and the goodbyes we had to say as we stood sobbing by her side. It was the most heart wrenchingly beautiful moments I’ve ever experienced. At the age of 35, in my first trimester, carrying my first born in my womb I wished time would stop in that moment and raise her up just to see me through my pregnancy. I carried so much grief for so long afterwards, not just for myself but for my unborn child who would never know how it felt to have a loving, nurturing grandmother hug and kiss them. So of course my tears flowed during the goodbye scene, both affirming the end of this part of her journey and experiencing the writers vision of a soul’s transition from this life to the spirit world. I saw myself in the only daughter, the last one to say goodbye moments before she took her last breath. I saw my brothers, I saw my Godmother, her best friend letting her know it was okay to go and that she’d take over the nurturing.
I saw the sadness, the pain and the peace.
I saw the joy when Rebecca was finally reunited with her true love.
There was so much that reminded me of my own mother’s transition, yet what hit me the most was how Rebecca questioned if she had done enough as a mother. The what ifs that I often feel especially when my children are struggling with school and life. The questioning and guilt I feel when I leave them alone or with a caregiver because I just need some time away from all of the heavy responsibilities of giving and mothering. I adore my children and I wouldn’t have it any other way -well, maybe I would have a regular housekeeper! – raising them on my own, but I think society places such a burden on the custodial parent regardless of why the other parent is absent from parenting.
I am thankful that I have loved ones who remind me that I am a loving mother, and that I am doing the best I can with my children. I remind myself of how much I’ve sacrificed to provide for and support them. I think one thing the writer didn’t get right is that our loved ones continue to show up for us, care for us, help us and nurture us even after they transitioned. I’m sure I will do the same for my children and loved ones when I transition.
And because I have several decades of healthy life remaining in this lifetime, I am committed to incorporate #rest into my daily living so that I won’t have to wait until my transition to experience true rest.
TONIGHT! Poetic Memoir Intensive with #Ursula Rucker
This intensive word/ thought/ emotion, self-truth-culling, seeks to be a journey of healing, art, therapy, and authentic conversations about life that will result in the creation of individual works/excerpts of EPIC memoir poetry. Each student is invited to perform their created works at this live-streamed event.
Check out the live streamed event on the SIFT Media 215 You Tube Channel tonight, Sunday January 30th from 6-7:30 PM. It’s a creative masterpiece to heal your soul, with the finale by Ursula Rucker!
Not One – Original poetry
(For the Million Mothers March)
Not mine son
Not my son
Not my brother nephew or current lover
Not my neighbor cousin or future husband
I am not saying no more
I am saying not ONE
We with the millions of ancestors behind us
Forge a force you will feel into centuries
Your generations will not be safe
Your land will not be prosperous
Your wealth will not sustain you
Your privilege will not save you
We are millions today plus millions from centuries before u
Far more than your eyes can see
We gather together seen and unseen
When mothers pray it goes straight to heaven
Rest assured and be forewarned
There will be a price for your descendants to pay
If you ever look at my son in a disrespectful, condescending or threatening way
We collectively are not playing with you today
~ From “Toni’s Room“
(c) Toni Love Publishing
Remembering Mommy. A poem for Mother’s Day ❤
I Remember You (For Mommy)
With every embrace
I remember you
In every poem I write
I honor you
Each boo-boo I kiss
Every time I drop everything to respond to a call from the school
I invoke glimpses of your face
I remember you
Prayers tucked into wrinkles of your hands
Wisdom in the tight grey coils that framed a crown of compassion on your forehead
Baby oil in the bathtub and Vaseline on your feet
Callouses from walking your journey with no shoes
Allowing the earth as a cushion beneath
Fourteen years, 5,110 days, 112640 hours and 7,358,400 minutes
The time lapse does not stop tears and memories from flooding my heart
I remember you
Homemade cigarettes in the basement
We watched not knowing you found comfort exhaling
You inhaled concoctions of joy, sadness, loss and grief
Both liberating and toxic
I speak of you to your grandchildren
Chance meetings as souls passed in transition
They remember you though never met you here on earth
I hear you in the deep vibrato of Nina Simone and Lou Rawls
I smell you in the cinnamon nutmeg infused sweet potato pie I can’t quiet get to taste the same way
I see you in the eyes of my son you ushered onto this plane
My children speak of past lives with you
I cry for you
I laugh with you
I speak to you
I still need you
To hear you
I call, and you still answer
I remember you
And thank you
For remembering me too
From “Toni’s Room, a poetic journey to restoration”
(c) Toni Love Publishing
March 7th Toni’s Room is coming to BusBoys and Poets Washington D.C. !
The show has been rescheduled to March 7th! Tickets from January’s show will be honored ❣
After successful book launches in Philadelphia and New York, Toni Love is bringing her new poetry book Toni’s Room alive in Washington D.C. at the famed BusBoys and Poets on 14th and V Street, Northwest Washington D.C.
Toni will take you on a journey inside her book, sharing the emotion and inspiration behind her poems accompanied by accomplished percussionist Ronin Ali. Tickets to this intimate event include light fare and VIP packages are available. PRICES INCREASE at the door, so get your tickets today. Show is 5-7pm.
You will leave feeling inspired, entertained and loved! 💜
Poetry for Breast Cancer Awareness
A reminder that during the month of October, $2 from every Amazon order of my poetry book “Toni’s Room” will be donated to Praise Is The Cure, a local breast cancer support organization founded by a mom and accountant who is a breast cancer survivor and a true warrior for her family. 💓
Order your copy before November 1st. I will post the sales report from Amazon and you get to deduct the amount from your taxes. 😁
She’s here! 💞 “Toni’s Room” is now a poetry book!
She’s here! I did it Daddy! 💥The paperback version of “Toni’s Room is available for sale! 🤸🏿♀️💓 I dedicated my first poetry book to my children because they are my biggest fans. It is currently available as Kindle version and paperback on Amazon. I am planning a few local book signings and also have signed copies available to order on my website at 👉🏽bit.ly/tonilovemerch . Thank you all and especially my coach Gwenn Prinbeck for gently pushing me to uncover all that I am.
“What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think – or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?” ~ Brene’ Brown