International Day of Women : The blessings that come when you show up! ūüíô #strengthsourceproject

Browsing through my Facebook feed I come across a notification that a friend tagged me in someone’s post. As one who is both a businesswoman and artist I know a diverse group of people and am a bit picky about what I’m tagged in with the permanence of social media. Much to my surprise I saw the photo taken of me last year posted on the photographer’s Facebook page and appeared both digitally and I’m print on page 5 of the Philadelphia Inquirer!

The #strengthsourceproject is this beautiful collage of photos and stories capturing the moments that built the character and resilience of women of all colors, ages, shapes and class. It’s a brilliant compilation and I’m honored to be a participant.

If only you knew how sad I felt that day. I had just found out my daughter was diagnosed with dysgraphia, a severe learning disorder that makes it difficult and frustrating for her, an advanced reader to process writing. The same exact day my son’s school counselor called about him exhibiting signs of anxiety and depression (the dance partners of a highly gifted and intuitive brain), avoiding teachers and classes as a result. As their sole caretaker l was overwhelmed with the decisions I had to make on my own knowing I would also not receive the financial support.

I was going to cancel the meeting I set with Carrie for the photo because I just wanted to go somewhere and cry. I wore bright colors on purpose to lift my spirits. She was so warm and compassionate when I met her in Fishtown by Franny Lous Porch and reading the other women’s stories really gave me the strength to deal with it all.

And oh the blessings that have come because I showed up! Aside from this acknowledgement in the paper, since that day my children have benefited from angels in the form of teachers and therapists. My daughter has been tutored by a retired teacher for free and my son’s therapist only charges me a tenth of his normal fee because I was transparent and unafraid to speak my truth and ask for help.

My strength is my truth and I’m grateful that my transparency is able to help other women. The stories on the blog are powerful. I hope you get to read mine too. Please share your favorite in the comments. It’s okay if it’s not mine. I’m every woman ūüėä

Who Am I? I Am You & We Are Connected!

MTONITA FEATURE AD JPG

You may have seen my face, maybe took a minute to listen to a sample track or even purchased my debut EP titled “The Restoration”, but do you know my story? I love poetry because I love telling a story. I love music because it adds color to lyrical expression. When you listen to my CD, you experience the two dancing together. I tell a story of love, loss and renewal within each track on “The Restoration”. You can purchase it on iTunes, Amazon Music¬†and CD Baby. If you would like an autographed copy, please purchase from my site —-> Toni Love Merchandise¬†where you will find Toni Love T-shirts as well!

I am excited about my interview with¬†Connected Woman Magazine! Although¬†I’ve been fortunate to have my poetry featured in other online publications in addition to being interviewed for several online radio stations, this is my first magazine interview! It was a new experience for me and a lot different from radio interviews because¬†I was given detailed, probing questions in advance and had to take the time to ¬†write thoughtful, honest responses. Some of the questions were more difficult than others because it required me to dig deep into my past and revisit places I’ve long tucked away. This interview¬†process¬†was a welcome experience because it made me think about how my poetry could¬†be used to guide other woman towards healing so they too can be restored.

I hope you take a moment to visit the Connected Woman Magazine online edition tomorrow, June 8th. I am honored to be featured along with several other fabulously connected women, and I hope you are inspired by us all. I am you, you are me and we are all connected!

Thank you in advance for the LOVE!

~Toni  #loveistheanswer

 

 

Who Is Toni Love?

Have you had your heart broken and are afraid to love again? Do you feel like you give yourself to others and don’t know how to love yourself? Do you yearn for a surge of passion and romance in your life? Do you love good music and poetry? If you can say yes to any or¬†all of these questions, then do yourself a favor and click the link below to order my debut EP titled “The Restoration”. I intertwine poetry with the brilliant music of Robb McCall to explore all of the above emotions and feelings. As you allow yourself to become¬†immersed in the music and share in my journey, I am confident you will fall in love with love again!

You can purchase the entire EP with the bonus track or download the digital version by clicking the link below:

Order The Restoration on CD BABY.COM.

If you would like an autographed copy of the EP, or a Toni Love T-shirt, please visit my site by clicking here —->¬†Order Toni Love Music and Merchandise.

All CDs, t-shirts and tickets ordered from my site will arrive with a hand written thank you note and autographed as you choose.

The Restoration is my gift to you. I believe we can do nothing without love first. I offer you a chance to release old love, rekindle your current love or to believe that the love you seek will become more than a dream. Get the love you desire today!

~ I thank you for the love! Toni

#loveistheanswer

 

 

The Restoration: Toni Love’s London radio Interview with Wayne Boucaud

I am so excited to announce that my debut poetry EP titled “The Restoration” has gone international! Last week, I was interviewed on the Wayne Boucaud London radio show Black in 3D, and a few of the tracks as well as the fun and engaging interview can be heard by listening to the broadcast below. If you like what you hear, the EP is available for download on iTunes, Amazon Music and CDBaby in addition to other outlets. So don’t delay, press play and enjoy the great music and the love!

I thank you in advance for your support and please comment!

~Toni Love #loveistheanswer

I Want To Get Off – Original poetry

I approach you carefully hesitating all the while
Feeling my body being pulled closer because you entice me and I love your style

So sexy the way you dip when you move
Silky smooth colored outer skin and your softness inside makes me want to sink in to you
No doubt why so many others fall in line just to be in your presence
And here I am amongst them unashamed waiting for my turn to experience the same ecstasy

I stand patiently with my heart quickly racing
Thousands of beats per minute fill my heaving chest
As you motion in my direction

My body temperature elevates my palms are moist waiting to feel you inside
Breathing heavily, approaching cautiously til you pull me close and wrap yourself around my waist and outer thigh

I hold you tight and close my
eyes
Too afraid to just let go and enjoy the ride
I trust the way you ease into it gently and take it slow
The excitement builds and my heart sinks down to my feet and I forget how really fast we are going

And just when my climax begins, you drop me and leave me helpless
No air to breathe, no support¬† under my feet and I don’t feel the passion anymore

I’m scared and I don’t know what’s coming next
I can’t trust that you are secure enough to protect me
Even holding me as tight as you can, I still scream from fear
because I’m afraid that when I trust you the most that you’ll drop me

So I beg you to stop playing with my heart
To unwrap yourself from my torso and release me
Let me walk away with my dignity, without feeling ashamed about what I let you do to me.

I foolishly trusted you from the start but now that you’ve shaken both my confidence and my heart

You will never convince me again to ride a roller coaster , I’ll stick to the kiddie go-carts!

image

© M Tonita Austin 3/23/14

Happy No Fear , original poetry

New year and I’m ready to release the pain
No more capturing old Polaroid type snapshots of hurt inside the tear- stained crevices in my heart.
The things you said, the regrets and the unspoken daggers thrown at all parts of my body have bruised me enough.
My heart has hardened and I’ve been trying every chemical, oil and homeopathic medicine that I could find
To massage in with fingers worn and paper-thin from
So much kneading
Because I keep needing the love to make its way in
Trying to force myself to love again
Daring them all  to penetrate the walls of plaque hardened around my heart
No longer will I leave my canals open and vulnerable with sun  drenched thighs
Yearning to be touched from within
Because this fight I will win.
I am worthy of a life free of fear
And I deserve to have someone I trust to pull me near
Whisper “I love you” sensual and sincerely in my ear
And not cringe from disbelief

Because it’s a new year
And I’m ready

So goodbye fear

image

(c) M. Tonita Austin 1/4/14

Back to life…back to reality…

Me and the kids
Me and the kids

Well, today’ it’s back to school for the kids, and getting back to the mindset of prosperity, writing and productive work for me! This year was the first year that I stayed home with the kids for their entire winter break and did not schedule them for day camp at the Y or any other place. I thought that I deserved to have just one day to myself during their ten day break, but intuition told me to just enjoy them. Sometimes when I hear that voice that whispers to me to take time out for them, I can become fearful that I’m getting a message that something may happen to them or me and that is the reason we should cherish this time. But then I realize that sometimes it may just be their subconscious speaking to mine and they just need more mommy time. So, I made sure we had groceries and that the cable bill was paid and made no plans other than to attend a local Kwanzaa celebration and enjoy our family and friends during the holidays. We had a few impromptu yet fulfilling lunch and dinner gatherings with friends, some football, board games, reading, lots of movie time on the couch, a few pajama days and even some days that they were both not feeling well, and recovering. It was the first time that I purposely chose not to try and “use” the time to cram in every library, museum or other extra curricular event that looked exciting and intriguing during the holiday break. They both get so over-worked (in my opinion) at school that I wanted them to just do nothing for a change. Yes we may have put on a pound or two and the kids may be raddled due to the relaxed sleep schedules, but their bodies are healed, they got lots of love, snuggles, family time and cultural enrichment, and most of all a break from the day to day stress of school and extra-curricular activities.

They are not over-scheduled like many suburban kids I know of  these days, but I do try to balance the lack

of gross motor activities in the schools with sports and dance and other physical recreation. Aside from the recreation, they both will be taking Mandarin Chinese this semester on Saturday mornings (my son is in his sixth year, and my daughter wants to do whatever her big brother does), so we have a few commitments but not excessive. I don’t do more than one sport in a season unless it’s swimming lessons, and unless they are with their father for the weekend, or beg me to see the latest Disney movie, we spend Friday and Sunday nights at home. Even energetic and/or brilliant kids need down time too. They need time to relax and release and not worry about time and schedules and assignments. And for this reason Friday nights at our house are sacred. They are almost ¬†always reserved for what the kids refer to as “movie night”. We get early showers, get in our pajamas, pull out the fleece blankets, search for a great family movie, pop some popcorn (or grab a bag from the Wawa) and head to the couch for snuggle time. It’s the most inexpensive way to treat them to a special night and after all of these years it’s still their favorite night of the week. They love it because they get uninterrupted quality time with me and I love it because I know there will soon be a day when Friday nights will be spent with a blanket, myself and a good book because they’ll be at the mall, going to a movie or a party with their friends. So for now, for reasons I don’t necessarily share with them, it’s my favorite night of the week too!

 

 

Can’t Get you out of my head – Original Poetry

carmen1Your voice slides inside my mind like silk panties between my thighs

and I can’t get you out of my head

so sweet and so unique I could listen to your sexiness until I fell off to sleep

But for now I’ll just imagine you laying your body across my bed

yearning to feel  your touch your lips and waiting for the first passionate kiss

and I can’t believe I’m¬†capable of feeling like this

have I finally met my match, a romantic whose words are as sweet as a Hershey’s kiss

or my soul mate able to touch me so deeply that I can’t resist

your eyes, and your smile leave me yearning for your loving caress

imagining you and I hand in hand heart to heart

makes me feel warm and sticky like honey dripping down the back of my dress

I want you, you want me and we both find ourselves weak from the thought

of opening up our souls and hearts as they intertwine into an eternal rope of passion and ecstasy

you make love to my mind and I can’t say no

I surrender all

you are my destiny

just lay my body down on your lavender-scented bed

cause I can’t get you out of my head.

by M. Tonita Austin (c) 8/31/13

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑