Kiss Kiss These lips They are eager for your gentle touch The anticipation of soft skin against skin Tender Moist Oh how I love the sensation of your tongue Gliding ever so slowly around my oval Moving deeper inside Teasing my anticipation Increasing my drive Feeling warmth and compassion each time our lips collide I can’t take the multiple explosions anymore So I moan some form of your name Begging you to come up for air To give these lips One More Kiss
Sewey Hole Family presents Bruiz and Friends , a Live poetry reading filmed at the infamous Pen and Pencil club in Philadelphia. The event including poetry readings from James Feichthaler, Bob Zell and myself, Toni Love will ONLY be viewed on the Facebook page of Keith Outlaw so visit the Event page to access the link to watch us live.
I hope you are able to check out the show. I will be reading a few new poems but please support and grab a copy of my poetry book or CD from my website and I’d be happy to autograph it for you.
Refusing the courtesy ride home in the back of the police car.
He was innocent.
No apologies for being accused of fitting the description of someone who was running and not doing anything but fitting the description of every black boy profiled.
A black boy running at night.
The cops told me that he wasn’t running when they stopped him. Thank God, I thought.
Because black boys who run get murdered.
So today I feel sad for you and all of the children we’ve lost to racism.
Today I selfishly thank you.
Thank you George for your life because it may have saved the life of my son.
A black boy who just wanted to breathe fresh air.
A black boy who just wants to feel freedom.
I pray for him.
I honor You.
You couldn’t breathe but he will breathe and run and stop and take breath and return home again today
I pray .
~ M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love
written on the second anniversary of George Floyd’s murder. 5.25.22
Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies…
~Erich Fromm
Last nights episode of This is Us hit me to the core. I have been a fan of the show since it’s inception, not only because the writing is so beautifully woven but I was particularly impressed at how perfectly they captured the personality and stressors of being a gifted black male in a white world. Randall reminds me so much of my own son and although I am not a white woman, as a sole parent, I can relate to her character as as a mother mostly raising her children on her own.
This episode brought back the deep sadness that I felt as the caretaker for my own mother. The hospice nurse coming to let us know that she had 48 hours left with us and the goodbyes we had to say as we stood sobbing by her side. It was the most heart wrenchingly beautiful moments I’ve ever experienced. At the age of 35, in my first trimester, carrying my first born in my womb I wished time would stop in that moment and raise her up just to see me through my pregnancy. I carried so much grief for so long afterwards, not just for myself but for my unborn child who would never know how it felt to have a loving, nurturing grandmother hug and kiss them. So of course my tears flowed during the goodbye scene, both affirming the end of this part of her journey and experiencing the writers vision of a soul’s transition from this life to the spirit world. I saw myself in the only daughter, the last one to say goodbye moments before she took her last breath. I saw my brothers, I saw my Godmother, her best friend letting her know it was okay to go and that she’d take over the nurturing.
I saw the sadness, the pain and the peace.
I saw the joy when Rebecca was finally reunited with her true love.
There was so much that reminded me of my own mother’s transition, yet what hit me the most was how Rebecca questioned if she had done enough as a mother. The what ifs that I often feel especially when my children are struggling with school and life. The questioning and guilt I feel when I leave them alone or with a caregiver because I just need some time away from all of the heavy responsibilities of giving and mothering. I adore my children and I wouldn’t have it any other way -well, maybe I would have a regular housekeeper! – raising them on my own, but I think society places such a burden on the custodial parent regardless of why the other parent is absent from parenting.
I am thankful that I have loved ones who remind me that I am a loving mother, and that I am doing the best I can with my children. I remind myself of how much I’ve sacrificed to provide for and support them. I think one thing the writer didn’t get right is that our loved ones continue to show up for us, care for us, help us and nurture us even after they transitioned. I’m sure I will do the same for my children and loved ones when I transition.
And because I have several decades of healthy life remaining in this lifetime, I am committed to incorporate #rest into my daily living so that I won’t have to wait until my transition to experience true rest.
Live Poetry Event: Tonita Austin, Sibelan Forrester, Alison Lubar Wednesday May 18, 2022 – 7pm Fergie’s Pub 1214 Sansom Street and on zoom – Registration Required
Come out and hang with me in the City!
I’m excited to share my poetry for the first time at a Moonstone Arts Center event with these gifted poets! There will be an open mic and loads of fun and poetry ❤️. I will also have copies of my book “Toni’s Room” for sale and if you already have a copy and want it signed, please bring it with you. They make wonderful Mother’s day gifts.
Elevator available, open mic and refreshments afterwards.
Repost from the Mad Poets Society of PA newsletter:
Friends and fans of poetry! Our next First Wednesday poetry reading, at 7:00 p.m. on April 6, will feature two wonderful poets: Tonita Austin, aka Toni Love, and James Feichthaler!
The reading will take place in the Ballroom, *upstairs* at the Community Arts Center, 414 Plush Mill Rd., Wallingford, PA. If anyone has questions or needs info about the CAC elevator, contact series host Sibelan Forrester at <sforres1@swarthmore.edu> or leave voicemail at (610) 328-8162.
Light refreshments will be served, and an Open Mic will follow the featured reading.
This intensive word/ thought/ emotion, self-truth-culling, seeks to be a journey of healing, art, therapy, and authentic conversations about life that will result in the creation of individual works/excerpts of EPIC memoir poetry. Each student is invited to perform their created works at this live-streamed event.
Check out the live streamed event on the SIFT Media 215 You Tube Channel tonight, Sunday January 30th from 6-7:30 PM. It’s a creative masterpiece to heal your soul, with the finale by Ursula Rucker!
Hey August is my birthday month and I am celebrating this special occasion with you!
If you or one of your friends and family purchase a copy of my poetry book Toni’s Room during the month of August, you will receive a free copy of my limited edition poetry CD titled “The Restoration”. FREE.
So if you have a poetry fan in your life and you were thinking of gifting them this book, now is the time to grab it! Visit my website , choose the shipping option for Toni’s Room and you’ll automatically get a free CD in the package. Just let me know who to autograph it to if it’s not you. Thank you for all your love and support. I hope you are staying safe and well during this time and remember poetry is a great way to keep your mind occupied!
Not mine son Not mine Not my son Not my brother nephew or current lover Not my neighbor cousin or future husband Not mine Not hers Not anybody’s Son I am not saying no more I am saying not ONE
We with the millions of ancestors behind us Forge a force you will feel into centuries Your generations will not be safe Your land will not be prosperous Your wealth will not sustain you Your privilege will not save you We are millions today plus millions from centuries before u Far more than your eyes can see We gather together seen and unseen When mothers pray it goes straight to heaven Rest assured and be forewarned There will be a price for your descendants to pay If you ever look at my son in a disrespectful, condescending or threatening way We collectively are not playing with you today No more