I Remember You (For Mommy)

With every embrace

I remember you

In every poem I write

I honor you

Each boo-boo I kiss

Every time I drop everything to respond to a call from the school

I invoke glimpses of your face

I remember you

Prayers tucked into wrinkles of your hands

Wisdom in the tight grey coils that framed a crown of compassion on your forehead

Baby oil in the bathtub and Vaseline on your feet

Callouses from walking your journey with no shoes

Allowing the earth as a cushion beneath

Fourteen years, 5,110 days, 112640 hours and 7,358,400 minutes

The time lapse does not stop tears and memories from flooding my heart

I remember you

Homemade cigarettes in the basement

We watched not knowing you found comfort exhaling

You inhaled concoctions of joy, sadness, loss and grief

Both liberating and toxic

I speak of you to your grandchildren

Chance meetings as souls passed in transition

They remember you though never met you here on earth

I hear you in the deep vibrato of Nina Simone and Lou Rawls

I smell you in the cinnamon nutmeg infused sweet potato pie I can’t quiet get to taste the same way

I see you in the eyes of my son you ushered onto this plane

My children speak of past lives with you

I cry for you

I laugh with you

I speak to you

I still need you

I wait

To hear you

I call, and you still answer

I remember you

And thank you

For remembering me too

From “Toni’s Room, a poetic journey to restoration”

(c) Toni Love Publishing

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