Original Poetry: Celebrating the Wisdom Womb

inspired by conversations with Clair

My Wisdom Womb

My beloved wisdom womb
surrounded by soft, brown flesh
protecting magic
forgive me for wishing you away

For cursing you and shaming you
as I wrestled you into the jeans bought too tight just to impress that boy
stuffing you inside girdles and other undergarments
designed to control and confine your beauty

succumbing to the misogynist media narrative
seeking to dissolve you in the name of purity and perfectionism
I was taught the process of dissipating you
never the power of your sacred protest

Forgive me for forgetting your sacrifice during the abortion

The day you held and protected my first born as I laid stretched out over my mother's casket

I, for a moment, failed to remember the grace and light you allowed when I only saw darkness

Growing and cradling my grandmother's eggs to bring forth life when I didn't know how I would even live

Your strength and determination to hold two nine pound babies to term
How you held my sorrow for the three who I would never see
My rainbow child still recalls the soft and calming swish of your cascading melodies /
music she continues to push out into the world on her own

Even sliced and laced after two cesarean section, you still hold move beautifully
How could I be ashamed of your capacity to heal and nurture us all
If I never cried for you, I should never try to hide you

So I vow now

No more 'Spanx' or disgusted gazes in the mirror when you show yourself to the world
You are my lifesaver
My miracle maker
My healer and the source of all my creation
I love you and thank you
My wisdom womb

~ M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love 10.25.24

Save the Date and celebrate Women’s Herstory Month at the Imperfect Gallery in Philadelphia!

split photo of two brown skinned females, on the left side the woman is positioned sideways facing a microphone, has a curly afro and is wearing a red t shirt. The woman on the right side is facing forward 
 with a slight smile, wearing locs and a flower top with spaghetti straps.

Hey poetry fans, if you haven’t been to the Imperfect Gallery located at 5539 Germantown Avenue in the Germantown section of Philadelphia, you are formally invited to come out during the entire month of March.

The entire month will be dedicated to Women artists, and if you want to see me and the phenomenal Sabriaya, (check out her full bio on her website) a poet, educator and storyteller, then mark your calendars and stop by The Imperfect Gallery on March 14th, 2024 at 6PM. The $15 cover supports the artists with work on display, the performers and the beautiful art gallery.

Seating is limited, so please come early.

I’m honored to be sharing the “stage” with all of the talented women who will be in the space, and sharing some poetry that you’ve never heard before.

Feel free to drop a heart below and share your excitement about coming. Your presence would mean the world to me!

#loveistheanswer

LOVE, Toni

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“In Remembrance” – Happy Heavenly Birthday Queen B!

Beverly F. Thomas

Bev was my best friend. Although she lived on the opposite end of my block in West Philadelphia, where I was born and raised, our paths never crossed until I was in my late teens. I was the smart kid who got teased a lot and kept to myself. She got the nickname Queen B because she would walk around the neighborhood like she was royalty. She was always laughing and would strut down the street with her hands on her hips, and it seemed to me that she never let what anyone else thought about her, bother her.

I was the smart, quiet teenager with hardly any friends, and she was the loud, charismatic, funny popular one with lots of personality, and introduced me to the cool people on the block. When I was hanging with Bev, I felt popular and protected. She wouldn’t let anyone say anything bad about me and my Mom treated her like family. My brothers were DJs so there were always turntables set up in our basement, and Bev and I and whoever else came over from the block would put on our favorite albums and sing, drink beer and laugh. She wanted to be a star and she had such a beautiful light within her. We lost her at the age of 40 and I now carry her light within me. Each time I walk on a stage, I think of her and this is one of the poems I wrote in remembrance.  Happy heavenly birthday Bev!

I Remember You (basement duet for Queen B)
 
We sang into West Philly-bred microphones
Scents of stale beer and cigarettes floating under our basement borne concerts
Roberta Flack
Natalie Cole
Teena Marie
They were us we were we and we were free
Imagining concert halls filled with fans gasping for gardenia scented motions of us
We danced swaying under water pipes and wooden rafters
Dressed in summer swag, tossing braids and permed ponytails while we bumped hips and dipped knees
We were stars on the dust filled unfinished basement stage
It was all we knew
We were inseparable until you strayed
We went our separate ways
You succumbed to painful nights soaked in old men calling for you to dance again
Asking for alley romance and offering snow dust dreams and green smoke behind masks
You danced to stale music with no voice
Now you’re gone and with you our Webster street duet
Yet
I still hear you
We walk together in a parallel universe
Pushing my stroller under the suburban sunshine
I think of my sister pushing through the door at the crack of dawn
Both rising to meet our children
Both trying to define success in the way we could see
Yet
I still see you 
 
Walking alone waiting on the bus stop in clothes wrinkled in the scent of cigars and whiskey
As I secure the seat belt of my luxury car at the corner of my single home
We both sit cloaked in sadness
I walk with you though you don’t see my journey
Resting in the sorrow of acceptance that I could not save you from yours
I remember you
I see you
I carry you
I sing for you
I write for you
I swing my hips for you
I inhale smoke filled rooms and sip beer through a straw for you
I plant my feet and grab the mic in remembrance of you
You support me
I carry you
I love you
I remember you
I REMEMBER YOU
 
12/11/15  © M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love

She’s here! 💞 “Toni’s Room” is now a poetry book!

She’s here! I did it Daddy! 💥The paperback version of “Toni’s Room is available for sale! 🤸🏿‍♀️💓 I dedicated my first poetry book to my children because they are my biggest fans. It is currently available as Kindle version and paperback on Amazon. I am planning a few local book signings and also have signed copies available to order on my website at 👉🏽bit.ly/tonilovemerch . Thank you all and especially my coach Gwenn Prinbeck for gently pushing me to uncover all that I am.
“What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think – or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?” ~ Brene’ Brown

Let’s Stay in touch!

Media, PA
For Inquiries and Promotions:
tonitalove2@gmail.com

Wednesday June 19. Toni Love at the World Cafe Live, Philly💓

Honored to share the stage with some of the best artists in Philadelphia as one of the poets performing a tribute to Ursula Rucker Wednesday, June 19th 7pm at World Cafe Live in Philadelphia! 💓

My friend and musician extraordinaire Richard Tucker will also be honored. The lineup is amazing I hope you will come out! 🎶🎤

You can message me to purchase tickets from me and avoid the box office fees, or click the link below to order them from the venue (see below) :https://www.worldcafelive.com/event/1858241-comeback-philly-style-philadelphia/

La Luna, Original Poetry

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La Luna (The Golden Ladder)

Mother Moon

She beckons me with golden ray-drenched oceans lighting the path to my salvation

How I arrive is not of her concern

The journey seems endless

Crashing waves illuminate the way to paradise

How many have heeded the call of the golden waterfall at the end of the moon’s shadow?

Her energy is pulling me

Sweet serenades of Yemeya hypnotize me

I am captured

I am lost

in peace

Until I am found

(c) M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love  8/31/18 OCM

The Day I Left God – Performance Poetry with Sistahs Laying Down Hands, Mother’s Day 2018

Mother’s Day is always bittersweet for me. I know as a Mother that there is pressure to smile and gush at the numerous mother’s day wishes, cards and love from my kids, but even after seventeen years, I still awaken with a small void knowing I can only speak the sentiment to my own mom, and seek to hear her respond in soft whispers of the wind.

When I was asked to collaborate with the phenomenal drummers and artists Sistahs Laying Down Hands for Mother’s Day I immediately said yes. Every performance together has been a gift to me and as I tapped into my intuition I knew that I needed to be in that space on that day, I just didn’t know why. I chose to recite a poem I wrote as part of my grief work after my mother transitioned. I was in my first trimester and I thought God to be so cruel to take my mother when I was first becoming a mother. Writing helped me come to terms with the loss and my faith and I recite this poem to help other motherless children feel that it’s okay to speak the pain of grief and release it.

I didn’t know that at the dawn of Mother’s Day this year I would be admitting my first-born to the hospital after spending hours in the emergency room. Everything in me wanted to cancel the performance but I had committed and my son told me “you should do it Mom, I know you’ll be good”. So with little sleep and a strained voice I sang and performed my poem surrounded by the healing energy of the drum. It was where I needed to be and I am grateful for the opportunity to receive the strength and the spiritual support through art.

My poem is about 5 minutes in, but you will want to watch from the beginning for a wonderful spoken word of remembrance of mothers and of course the powerful hands of the Sistahs Karen Smith and Miriama Koroma! You can search this blog for the words to the poem.

May you be continue to feel the nurturing of a mother’s love in spite of where she may or may not be in your life. Love comes in all forms. ~Toni Love

#loveistheanswer

 

The Fall/Winter issue of the Philadelphia Art and Urban Literary Magazine is here and I’m the featured poet!

PAUL IS HERE!!
In this distinguished issue of the Philadelphia Art & Urban Literary Review are artists:
M. Tonita Austin, Tamara Diaz, James Dupree, Tim Okamura, Petronia Paley, Eva Preston, Danny Simmons and Richard Watson. Artist, Kathleen Spicer sits down with me to remember her late husband, renown painter, sculptor, Mr. Charles Searles who was also my great mentor and teacher. Read additional, compelling interviews with Artists: James Dupree, Tim Okamura, actress and visual artist, Petronia Paley, Danny Simmons and Richard Watson. Click the link to go inside. Stand by for details on how to collect this beautiful edition in print. Cover Art by Tim Okamura.

I am honored to be the featured poet with two poems gracing this beautiful body of work! Click the link below to look inside and let me know what you think. 💜

PAUL MAGAZINE

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