inspired by conversations with Clair

My Wisdom Womb

My beloved wisdom womb
surrounded by soft, brown flesh
protecting magic
forgive me for wishing you away

For cursing you and shaming you
as I wrestled you into the jeans  bought too tight just to impress that boy
stuffing you inside girdles and other undergarments 
designed to control and confine your beauty

succumbing to the misogynist media narrative 
seeking to dissolve you in the name of purity and perfectionism
I was taught the process of dissipating you 
never the power of your sacred protest

Forgive me for forgetting your sacrifice during the abortion 

The day you held and protected my first born as I laid stretched out over my mother's casket

I, for a moment, failed to remember the grace and light  you allowed when I only saw darkness
 
Growing and cradling my grandmother's eggs to bring forth life when I didn't know how I would even live

Your strength and determination to hold two nine pound babies to term
How you held my sorrow for the three who I would never see
My rainbow child still recalls the soft and calming swish of your cascading melodies /
music she continues to push out into the world on her own

Even sliced and laced after two cesarean section, you still hold move beautifully
How could I be ashamed of your capacity to heal and nurture us all
If I never cried for you, I should never try to hide you

So I vow now

No more 'Spanx' or disgusted gazes in the mirror when you show yourself to the world
You are my lifesaver
My miracle maker
My healer and the source of all my creation
I love you and thank you 
My wisdom womb

~ M. Tonita Austin aka Toni Love 10.25.24